Several years ago, my family made a bold decision: instead of piling presents under the tree, we packed up the car and headed south for a Christmas vacation to Disney. It was a strategic move—skip the shopping madness, avoid the clutter and invest in a shared experience. We even agreed that my wife and I wouldn’t exchange gifts with each other to save money.
Now, in theory, that sounds great. In practice? Let’s just say Christmas morning hit a little different when I woke up in a Holiday Inn Express in Macon, Georgia, with no gift to unwrap. And I had it coming.
See, I didn’t exactly stick to the agreement. I bought my wife a small gift—something thoughtful involving our daughters—because I wanted to surprise her. It wasn’t flashy or expensive. It was just… something. So, when she followed through on our agreement and got me exactly what I asked for (nothing), I had a moment.
Not a meltdown. Just a pause.
I remember sitting there, holding my cup of hotel coffee, smiling on the outside, but silently thinking, “Wait… I got nothing?”
It was humbling. And hilarious in hindsight. But also, a moment of clarity.
Because even though I had agreed to this, a part of me still wanted something for myself. And that’s when I realized:
Gratitude and selfishness can’t live in the same heart at the same time.
The Gratitude Shift
Gratitude isn’t automatic. It’s a practice. It’s a mindset that often needs to be chosen, especially during the holidays, when every commercial, email and social media post screams, “You need more!”
But here’s the truth: You can’t be genuinely grateful and critical at the same time. You can’t deeply appreciate what you have while obsessing over what you lack.
Science backs this up, too. Choosing gratitude releases dopamine and serotonin—those same feel-good chemicals we chase in other ways. Gratitude literally rewires our brains; it fights anxiety; it increases joy; it softens frustration; and it turns a Holiday Inn Express in Georgia into a classroom for the soul.
The More We Have the Less Grateful We Become?
It’s funny how that works. In developing countries, where people live in conditions most of us would consider unlivable, I’ve seen joy that can’t be faked. I’ve witnessed deep gratitude for a job, a hot meal, a ride to work. Meanwhile, in our abundance, we often forget to be thankful for clean water, working heat or just waking up healthy.
Gratitude is not about what you have—it’s about recognizing what you’ve been given.
Five Ways to Practice Gratitude This Christmas (and Beyond)
- Change the focus. Shift the conversation from “What do I want?” to “What have I already received?” Whether it’s faith, family, health or just another day of life—there’s always something.
- Rein in Santa. It’s okay to have fun with the tradition, but maybe Santa doesn’t need to take credit for the most expensive gifts, especially if that creates unrealistic expectations or quiet comparisons between kids.
- Slow the gift exchange. Go one at a time. Watch, celebrate and stretch it out. When you focus on the moment, not just the mountain of presents, you get more connection—and less wrapping paper chaos!
- Make it about experiences. Horse-drawn sleigh rides, cinnamon rolls, serving meals together, singing carols at a nursing home—these are the memories that outlive every toy.
- Make gratitude a year-round habit. If gratitude is only something you feel during December, it won’t shape who you are. Write it down. Say it out loud. Make it part of your rhythm. Gratitude isn’t just for the holidays; it’s for the life you want to live.
Final Thought
I didn’t get a gift that Christmas. And in the years since, I’ve realized it might have been one of the best gifts I never received, because it reminded me that even with nothing in my hands, I still had everything I needed.
Merry Christmas! And here’s to choosing gratitude no matter what’s under the tree.